function random_text() {}; var random_text = new random_text(); // Set the number of text strings to zero to start var number = 0; // Incremental list of all possible Text random_text[number++] = "Dan Quayle:
'The other day [the President] said, I know you've had some rough times, and I want to do something that will show the nation what faith that I have in you, in your maturity and sense of responsibility. (He paused, then said) Would you like a puppy?' - Dan Quayle, quotes in the LA Times 5/21/89 " random_text[number++] = "Dan Quayle:
'Air travel efficiency would improve if more travelers started going to less popular places.'" random_text[number++] = "Dan Quayle:
'I have made good judgements in the Past. I have made good judgements in the Future.'" random_text[number++] = "Dan Quayle:
'For NASA, space is still a high priority.'" random_text[number++] = "Woody Allen:
'It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.'" random_text[number++] = "Woody Allen:
'As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.'" random_text[number++] = "Did you know:
Ludwig Van Beethoven went completely deaf by the time he was 37. He wrote some of his greatest orchestral works AFTER he lost his hearing!" random_text[number++] = "Did you know:
There are only 4 species of poisonous snakes in the continental United States: The Copperhead, the Rattle Snake, the Water Moccasin and the Coral Snake. There are hundreds of non-poisonous snakes. More people die from complications arising from shock after being bitten by non-poisonous snakes than from actual poisonous snake bites." random_text[number++] = "The chance of winning a lottery is approxmately 1/1,000,000. The chance of being involved in an automobile accident is 1/500 every time you hit the road." random_text[number++] = "Woody Allen:
'Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.'" random_text[number++] = "Irene Ayers once said:
'Charles, if I'm gonna eat somethin' bad for me, I'd just as soon it be somethin' I LIKE!'" random_text[number++] = "Dan Quayle:
'We expect them to work toward the elimination of human rights.' (Dan Quayle, on El Salvador)" random_text[number++] = "Dan Quayle:
'People are not homeless if they're sleeping in the streets of their own hometowns.'" random_text[number++] = "Dan Quayle:
'The best thing about rain forests is they never suffer from drought.'" random_text[number++] = "Dan Quayle:
El Salvador is a democracy so it's not surprising that there are many voices to be heard here. Yet in my conversations with Salvadorans... I have heard a single voice." random_text[number++] = "Dan Quayle:
'Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here.' - Dan Quayle, Hawaii, September 1989 " random_text[number++] = "Dan Quayle:
'Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.'" random_text[number++] = "Dan Quayle:
'This president is going to lead us out of this recovery.' - Dan Quayle, at a campaign stop in California and and then at CA State University, Fresno (The Quayle Quarterly, Spring/Summer 1992) " random_text[number++] = "A true conversation:
Chuck Wade: 'Now, if you were to die tomorrow, who would take care of Angie (not her real name)?
ClientX: 'Aw now Chuck, you insurance boys are always tryin' to back the ambulance up to the front door. Now, realistically, what are the chances of me dying?'
Chuck Wade: '100%.'
(He's covered)" random_text[number++] = "Dan Quayle:
'I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.'" random_text[number++] = "Dan Quayle:
'I deserve respect for the things I did not do.'" random_text[number++] = "Dan Quayle:
'I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.'" random_text[number++] = "Dan Quayle:
'Republicans have been accused of abandoning the poor. It's the other way around. They never vote for us.'" random_text[number++] = "Dan Quayle:
'I feel that this [1981] is my first year, that next year is an election year, that the third year is the mid point and that the fourth year is the last chance I'll have to make a record since the last two years, I'll be a candidate again. Everything I do in those last two years will be posturing for the election. But right now I don't have to do that.'" random_text[number++] = "Dan Quayle:
'You all look like happy campers to me. Happy campers you are, happy campers you have been, and, as far as I am concerned, happy campers you will always be.' (Dan Quayle, addresing a group of American Samoans) " random_text[number++] = "Dan Quayle:
'We are leaders of the world of the space program. We have been the leaders of the world of our... of the space program and we're not going to continue where we're going to go, not withstanding the Soviet Union's demise and collapse - the former Soviet Union - we now have independent republics which used to be called the Soviet Union. Space is the next frontier to be explored. And we're going to explore. Think of all the things we rely upon in space today: communications from... Japan, detection of potential ballistic missle attacks. Ballistic missiles are still here. Other nations do have ballistic missles. How do you think we were able to detect some of the Scud missles and things like that? Space, reconnaissance, weather, communications - you name it. We use space a lot today.'" random_text[number++] = "Dan Quayle:
'If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure.' (Dan Quayle, quoted in the Phoenix Republican Forum, March 1990)" random_text[number++] = "Dan Quayle:
'My friends, no matter how rough the road may be, we can and we will, never, never surrender to what is right.' (Dan Quayle, in a speech to the Christian Coalition)" random_text[number++] = "Dan Quayle:
'We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.'" /////////////// random_text[number++] = "'There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other.' -By Douglas Everett" random_text[number++] = "'Whether you think you can or whether you think you can\'t, you\'re right!' -Henry Ford" random_text[number++] = "'I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.' -Henry David Thoreau" random_text[number++] = "'Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.' -John Wooden" random_text[number++] = "'Accept everything about yourself - I mean everything, You are you and that is the beginning and the end - no apologies, no regrets.' -Clark Moustakas" random_text[number++] = "'We must accept life for what it actually is - a challenge to our quality without which we should never know of what stuff we are made, or grow to our full stature.' -Ida R. Wylie" random_text[number++] = "'High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation.' -Jack Kinder" random_text[number++] = "'The measure of a man is the way he bears up under misfortune.' -Plutarch" random_text[number++] = "'Don\'t wait for your ship to come in, swim out to it.' -Anon" random_text[number++] = "'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.' -Andrew Carnegie" random_text[number++] = "'No steam or gas ever drives anything until it is confined. No Niagara is ever turned into light and power until it is tunneled. No life ever grows until it is focused, dedicated, disciplined.' -Harry Emerson Fosdick" random_text[number++] = "'The words printed here are concepts. You must go through the experiences.' -Carl Frederick" random_text[number++] = "'Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.' -Andre Gide" random_text[number++] = "'The wise man does at once what the fool does finally.' -Baltasar Gracian" random_text[number++] = "'The world has the habit of making room for the man whose actions show that he knows where he is going.' -Napoleon Hill" random_text[number++] = "'Success seems to be connected with action. Successful men keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don\'t quit.' -Conrad Hilton" random_text[number++] = "'Do the things you know, and you shall learn the truth you need to know.' -George Macdonald" random_text[number++] = "'I have never heard anything about the resolutions of the apostles, but a good deal about their acts.' -Horace Mann" random_text[number++] = "'Let us not be content to wait and see what will happen, but give us the determination to make the right things happen.' -Peter Marshall" random_text[number++] = "'I hear and I forget, I see and I remember. I do and I understand.' -Chinese Proverb" random_text[number++] = "'One may walk over the highest mountain one step at a time.' -John Wanamaker" random_text[number++] = "'Every action is either strong or weak, and when every action is strong we are successful.' -Wallace D. Wattles" random_text[number++] = "'If we do what is necessary, all the odds are in our favor.' -Henry Kissinger" random_text[number++] = "'Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune; but great minds rise above them.' -Washington Irving" random_text[number++] = "'When an affliction happens to you, you either let it defeat you, or you defeat it...' -Rosalind Russell" random_text[number++] = "'There\'s a basic human weakness inherent in all people which tempts them to want what they can\'t have and not want what is readily available to them.' -Robert J. Ringer" random_text[number++] = "'If there is something to gain and nothing to lose by asking, by all means ask!' -W. Clement Stone" random_text[number++] = "'It\'s not the situation ... It\'s your reaction to the situation' -Robert Conklin" random_text[number++] = "'Life at any time can become difficult: life at any time can become easy. It all depends upon how one adjusts oneself to life.' -Morarji Desai" random_text[number++] = "'What happens is not as important as how you react to what happens.' -Thaddeus Golas" random_text[number++] = "'To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.' -Bruce Lee" ////////////// // Create a random number with limits based on the number // of possible random text strings var random_number = Math.floor(Math.random() * number); // Write out the random text to the browser document.write(random_text[random_number]);